THE CASE OF SOCIAL MEDIA FORUMS
December 4, 2022
My, oh my! Yes, I’m now saturated in social media forums, maneuvering the world of photos, video clips, talks, and the rest. “Quips, Clips and Writing Tips” on my Facebook pages, @authorali16 on Instagram and @author.ali16 on TikTok keep me busy daily! It’s not an easy task trying to get folks to follow you, take interest in your writing and cleverness. It’s practically a full-time job, and I’m beginning to understand how celebrities and the like hire assistants to handle it all. Hats off to those of you who are in the trenches with me. Since I joined the ranks of “authors who started at an older age” (yes, I liken myself to former teacher Frank McCourt of Angela’s Ashes success, may he R.I.P. / we met at an NCTE conference one November, and he both inspired and encouraged me to “get rolling” with my writing), I find these new publishing devices a challenge but am “getting the hang of it.” So, my main message to all of you future writers, instead of whining, just JUMP IN, FEET FIRST and submerge yourself in the currents. You’ll never know where they’ll take you. And, in the meantime, pick up that glass of wine! You’re going to need it. 🙂
THE CASE OF THE TEACHING AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
June 20, 2022 
The last two years have been a blur, but they’ve offered much to consider while the world was turned upside down. With an unexpected hiatus because of a complete retirement, an aging parent shifting homesteads, tackling a spouse’s health concerns and more, I’ve grown and learned so much about myself. All of these challenges have impacted my life in a good way but my writing even more. Now, I leap into the world of social media, deepening my plunge beyond my wildest dreams. So, I gladly pick up the gauntlet and ask you to cheerlead me through this “old dog learning new tricks.”
THE CASE OF THE PARKING LOT BLUES 
April 26, 2020
While it is true that our world has changed, human beings have, too. What am I talking about? Bad manners, that’s what. I didn’t venture out much in the beginning of this pandemic, ordering groceries online and hunkering down. But in the last three weeks, I’ve become cautiously daring and venturing into parts unknown. Well, they WERE known but are now a revised version of themselves. I wear my face mask and plastic gloves (although proven not good because of cross-contamination), and when I am done, I discard the gloves and wash my mask, one that I made myself. To my dismay, the same lazy folks who can’t find the shopping cart returns seem to ignore the available trashcans for garbage, too. Instead, they seem to think that Mother Earth will absorb latex into the ground. I politely called someone out the other day at the air pump at a Wawa when I saw him throw his dirty gloves onto the asphalt next to the stand. “I think you forgot something,” I pointed to them. I offered to throw them away for him, and, instead of receiving a polite thank you, I got a verbal tongue lashing . . . laced with all kinds of four letter words! To say the least, I was disheartened, once again disappointed with my fellow humans. Let’s do our part to keep our world a healthy place while we try to fight off these notorious CoVid-19 germs and BE KIND to one another!
The Case of the “Sheltering in Place” March 20, 2020 As we all undergo this worldwide Coronavirus attack, we must remember to keep safe and “do as we’re told.” The latter is Lesson #One in the parent handbook. Don’t ask why, just do it. Of course, as adults we need to know the answers to why and how and more. I’m hoping everyone is staying safe and taking all precautions to not pass along the germs that can prove dangerous and sometimes deadly. Even though many places are temporarily closed, I’m thankful that my family is well stocked and taking heed to counsel. And, naturally, I’m thankful for the bottles of wine that are sitting safely “sheltered in place” in my dining room!
The Case of the “Culture Shock” – February 29, 2020
My husband and I just returned from a beautiful stay in Playa Flamingo, Costa Rica. We were fortunate enough to visit for the second time in two winters. The beaches were pristine, the wildlife (toucans and scarlet macaws) was gorgeous, the temperature dry and 96 daily, and the cuisine most delicious! The two of us and our hosts all loved having the opportunity to speak Spanish with the locals. But I noticed that too many other visitors didn’t even attempt to try their hand at the country’s beautiful language. I’ve always made it a point to acclimate to a different environment, whether I know the language there or not. When in Rome, people! Displaying your best efforts makes the residents of any country grateful and even friendlier. Try it. You might like it! (By the way, PURA VIDA is a special greeting that means “Live Life to its Fullest.” I LOVE THAT!)
The Case of the “Nonstop Blinker” – January 22, 2020
Yes, I fell victim to a driver who forgot to turn off his left turn signal on his car. I followed him for about eleven miles and even attempted to gesture to him about it. Instead of rectifying the situation, he smiled and waved at me as though he knew me. Of course, that made me smile in return. But how many people were confused by his lane changing that made no sense because of the ongoing wrong blinker signal? Fortunately, he caused no accidents and exited onto a ramp in Cherry Hill. I bet Route 295 drivers got a little excited by the back light if it kept on winking at them. 
The Case of the “Disappearing Months” – December 29, 2019
Have you ever noticed how quickly the end of the year flies by? Of course, my life with a new grandbaby has helped this immensely – August thru’ December have basically disappeared without my even blinking an eye. But regardless of the busier schedule with joyful baby developmental changes, I’ve noticed that the latter part of every calendar virtually seems nonexistent. The stores push the holidays from Halloween thru’ Christmas for shoppers to consume decorative items sooner than needed. When costumes appeared in August around my birthday (the 16th), I almost fell over! My aging needs no reminders by vampires, turkeys and elves to take me to my next chronological year. Geesh! Slow down, peeps.
The Case of the “Baby Smells” – July 20, 2019
Another grandchild came upon the scene on 7/17/19, Cameron John Conley. Who can resist the new baby smells that come with these bundles of joy? But my only question is – where does the new baby smell go after a few days? It gets replaced by the fragrances of baby products – like Johnson’s Baby Oil and Baby Magic. I guess I really can’t complain. The happiness in my heart grows ever second with my grandkids. Welcome, Cameron, to our loving world.
THE CASE OF THE “FACEBOOK WHINERS” – JUNE 12, 2019
Granted, I do my share of whining on this monthly blog, but I basically am a carefree, happy-go-lucky person for the most part. What I’m growing tired of is the constant berating of our president and the political rants by both sides on Facebook. I get it – the movement called the Resistance is ongoing until the president is supposedly voted out of office, but both Reps and Dems are over the top with this non-stop attacking and these negative Nelly antics. Enough is enough! People need to get into the “happy groove” and sing a joyful tune. Life is good, people. Let’s get into that rut!
THE CASE OF THE “MISSED MATH TRICK” May 24, 2019
Good news! Public schools are beginning to introduce financial skills to our kids, as early as third grade. Bad news! Fundamental math skills are falling on the wayside in lieu of “fancy pants math.” Yes. There. I’ve said it. Case in point – I was in three different stores today (hardware, card and grocery) and NOT ONE of the cashiers (on average, ages 26 to 30) could figure out how to give me exact change. In one case, my bill was $9.60. I gave the young man a ten dollar bill with sixty cents, wanting a dollar in return. He couldn’t understand my explanation of what I was doing. Instead, he kept insisting that I was paying him more than necessary. Shaking my head because I didn’t want the change (and a line was forming behind me!), I shrugged and handed him just the ten dollar bill. Then he was perfectly fine. Repeat times two! I don’t think I’ll be shopping again at any of those stores anytime soon. I aged too much – – at least five years minus three plus one!!!
The Case of the “Stolen Bread Plate” April 18, 2019 Maybe I’m just getting fussy in my old age even though I’m truly not that old!. I went out to dinner the other night before seeing Legally Blonde . . . and, well, bottom line, someone next to me stole my bread plate! I politely mentioned it, and he explained that my bread plate was to my right. Second guessing myself, I checked my right, and, sure enough, there sat an innocent, fluffy little buttered biscuit . . . . dead center. <sigh> Defeated, I balanced my roll on the rim of my plate but welcomed him to join my place at the table. I didn’t dare place him on the tablecloth. My fear was that a lay magician would whisk it off the table. Then I would’ve been without everything, butter knife, butter plate, but especially my delicious bread bite to pop into my mouth!!!
The Case of the “Liquid Peeps” March 8, 2019
Not spending much time on this peeve of mine since I’ve socked-it-to Peeps of all flavors before. But, come on now! A creamer that is Peeps flavored? I did survey several folks about the idea, and most found creamers to be sweeter than sugar or honey or maple syrup. The thought of drinking Peeps wasn’t too appealing. But they did confess to me that they love their regular Peeps. Oh gees! Come on, people!! Work with me, work with me. (Thanks to Pamela Gibson Cuatt and Jon Dupre for their honest opinions.)
The Case of the “Trip to the Unexpected” February 28, 2019
So, like many, I just returned from a marvelous get away – – out of the freezing cold of the Northeast to the glorious warmth of Central America. Although I wasn’t initially keen on going to Costa Rica, perhaps because it wasn’t on my top twenty bucket-list places-to-visit, I wound up loving every 
single second of it. The people, their foods, their beaches and their uplifting spirits all warmed my hearts. But the heat of the sun during the country’s dry season was the best suited for my winter doldrums. The only problem with the mini-vacation was my return! I hadn’t realized how difficult it was to transition back home. I definitely need a vacation from my vacation. Anyone else ever feel like that?
The Case of the “Texting Driver” January 14, 2019
How many of you have become victims of a red light stop, only to discover the person in front of you must be texting when the light turns green? How do you know that? He isn’t moving! And you have to resort to a confrontational “honk” of the horn. I can’t tell you how many times this recently has happened to me. While I realize the driver is making a smarter choice by checking the phone and using it while stopped, the traffic around him is less lenient about the jeopardy of the situation. If only I could call on Mr. T. from the passenger seat of my car to pop out and give him a good talking to . . . “I pity the fool.” (Thanks, Dean Gorgton from Vancouver; Sally Moseley from Rapid City; and Curtis Dunlow from Page for your suggestion of this pet peeve.)
The Case of the “Wrapping Presents” December 20, 2018
Yes, that’s right! Once again this year I’ve managed to buy all of my Christmas and Hanukkah gifts early (from August through November). The downside – I neglected to wrap them “as I go,” a promise I’d made to myself 
more than a few years. I put on holiday music, sip on hot chocolate or mulled apple cider and wrap away, trying to be in a holiday spirit. Instead, I find myself grumbling and mumbling. Is there anyone else who experiences this same dilemma? Hmmm, maybe I need to sip a hot toddy instead. That might do the trick. 🙂
The Case of the “Frozen Turkey” November 25, 2018
So, I surveyed about five hundred readers, friends and relatives about the
fresh vs. frozen turkey choices at Thanksgiving. Many of the responses said they preferred fresh but wind up with frozen because they “earned them at Shoprite” or other supermarkets. The downsize of free is the rock solid, takes-forever-to-thaw while taking-up-too-much-refrigerator-space, frozen bird. Those of us (439) who do eat turkey for the holiday suffer through the preparation for at least two days before it lands in the oven. To me, the hard part is over once it is softened up, in a tidy oven bag and cooking away. Thank heavens for the Pinot Grigio that complements its long awaited arrival to the table!
The Case of the “All Things Pumpkin”
October 10, 2018
That’s right! It’s that time in the season when everything you see on the grocery shelves have – poof! Turned into a pumpkin. Or moreso, pumpkin spices!!! Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, ginger and allspice. I’m not one to go overboard like many of my buddies. I love pumpkin pie and even pumpkin bread, perhaps even a pumpkin muffin. But I just can’t seem to warm up to – Pumpkin Spice Cheerios, Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (I’m too cheap to even pop for a regular latte there!), Godiva’s Milk Chocolate Pumpkin Spice G-Cubes, Pillsbury Pumpkin Spice Rolls (Grands!), Pumpkin Spice CoffeeMate, Snyder’s Pumpkin Spice Pieces, RXBars, Halo Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream, Smash Mallow Pumpkin Pie, Thomas’ English Muffins Ltd. Edition Pumpkin Spice, Muuna Pumpkin Spice Cottage Cheese, Samuel Adams Pumpkin Ale, and even Captain Morgan Jack-o Blast Pumpkin Spiced Rum!!! Ahoy mates! Now, I’ve been quite fair, buying and trying a few of the previously mentioned items (and they’re not cheap, friends!), but they inevitably end up in the garbage can. Sad but true. Maybe I’m going about this all wrong! Maybe, just maybe, I should celebrate a “Pumpkin Day” and see if my palate takes hold. Breakfast = Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts and Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Spice Coffee. Lunch = Chobani’s Pumpkin Harvest Crisp Yogurt (with crunchy pecans, pie crust pieces and glazed pumpkin seeds!). Dinner = Imperial Pumpkin Ale (AleWerks) and Muuna Pumpkin Spice Cottage Cheese. And for dessert – – wait for it – – I know you will lose your mind. PEEPS! Yes, I avoid those suckers at all costs, but they have double delights for fall pumpkin lovers. I’m going to sacrifice myself to the theme for one single day. (Have mercy! Am I already losing a few marbles? Are they orange???) Calling The Great Pumpkin and Charlie Brown to come to my rescue.
The Case of the “Man Bun”
September 18, 2018
When asked to weigh in on the Man Bun, so many people responded. Over a thousand, to be precise. Several on Facebook, many through emails and the biggest number thru’ this website. I knew it would be a hot topic. Just because it is what it is. So, Man Buns – do we continue to Trend It? Or should we Send It? The majority say, “Send It Packing!” While there
were a few adamant supporters who suggested it’s no worse than our forefathers wearing wigs or okay if clean & on a younger man, folks mostly would prefer their chignon pile (high or low) on women or ballerinas. The best response by far was the reference to Gene Simmons in full KISS attire. In other words, they’re okay if used as part of a costume. When I looked up images of men touting their hair styles, I had no idea that there were full buns, low buns and faded buns. Faded? Does that mean the hair rinse is wearing off? Whatever the case, there are actual sites dedicated to teaching males how to style and anchor their buns. Now, I have to be honest, I loved the responses that referenced puking, head spinning and Medusa-like effects, but the best and most humorous were those contributors who preferred discussing “other” buns. Now that’s hitting below the belt! (Special THANKS to Jim Barbour from Danville, VA; Mary Bell from Clifton, NJ; John Duffy from Haddonfield, NJ; Rosemary Hill from Hammonton, NJ; Dolly Kirchmeier from Bucksport, Maine; Christal and Eric LaVecchia from Ovieto, Florida; Patty Pavlides from Chester Spring, PA; Janet Totten from Ringoes, NJ; Lynn Valente from Columbus, NJ; Dee Witmayer from Philadelphia, PA; Kurt Zimmerman from Hamilton Square, NJ and a ton more!)
The Case of the “Chipmunk Thieves”
August 16, 2018
Yes, I’ve written about them before, but I have to hit the topic again. Better yet, I need a Chipmunk Hitman to get ride of these pesty tomato snatchers! Adorable as they may be, their lightning speed around my tomato plants is making my head spin like the exorcist. I’ve taken to plucking my almost-ripened fruit from their cages just to avoid disappearance. Hey, a girl needs her BLT sandwiches, dripping in mayo, in the summer.
Finally, I found a solution. It’s a little late in the season, but a combo of liquid detergent, Frank’s hot sauce and cayenne pepper keeps them at bay. And no, it doesn’t make the tomatoes spicy like habaneros as a result. I was out early this morning and harvested about a dozen grape tomatoes and another dozen plum for sauce. Imagine my delight as I watched one cute creature (was it Chip or was it Dale?) enter the war zone, only to discover the dried on solution. I actually heard a sneeze and a cough and saw a little brown body bolting off toward the outer fence. If he had taken one bite of the forbidden fruit, he’d no doubt have a flame firing up that exit.
So, gardeners, take heed. There is a solution with the solution. Keep vigilant just like them! And we can all get along.
The Case of the “Self-Absorbed Posters”
July 19, 2018
Do you grow tired of seeing people post nonstop about themselves on social media forums? I know I do. Yes, I do tend to float ideas or updates about my events and books, but I don’t do it on a daily basis. Not even close.
One of my friends recently brought to my attention a mutual buddy who can’t help himself. He
not only posts selfies but places himself in the foreground of every scenic landscape and even upstages his friends. She told me that he posts selfies and updates more than twice a day! While most of what he shares is entertaining and fun, I can understand her annoyance. Then there are the folks who post pictures of their children twenty-four seven. Yes, the kids are adorable, but don’t they realize that pedophiles keep an eye on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube? Research shows that they do. It’s almost as bad as having children’s names advertised on their clothing so they can be approached by strangers, posing to be friends.
This isn’t a long rant. It’s just a reminder that social media serves a wonderful sharing opportunity for all of us, whether for business or personal updates and connections. Let’s all be conscious of not over-doing it. Otherwise, you’ll be blocked or “hidden,” forever.
(Thanks to Karen Smith from Provo City, Utah, for the suggested topic.)
The Case of the “Buffet Bandits”
June 22, 2018
They say, “Sharing is caring!” Right? And yet, when opportunity arises for folks to go to a restaurant for a buffet style dining experience, some attendees are a little “hoggish.” Now I’m not talking about ham or bacon or pork chops at the food station; I’m talking about the piggies on line who are heaping mounds of crab legs or shrimp, for example, onto their plates and juggling them carefully back to their seats to chow down. I don’t mind it as much when no one else seems to be around or waiting to load up a few of his own; but when a line of 20 or 30 people are looking to share the wealth from the ocean, can’t other folks be a bit more considerate? If they take only what they need, they can always make a trip back for second, third or however many helpings they want. The servers are usually right on top of the refills at the buffet bar so why does this behavior continue to happen? <smh> Are those piggies starving? Are they reenacting the post-depression era families? Are they deprived of certain foods at home? Are they just plain selfish and oblivious to others around them? I’m not really sure. But one thing I do know, I will always share . . . and even use the tongs to put some of those crab legs onto the person’s plate behind me while I take a few for myself. Yes, a FEW! (Thanks, Leslie S. from Cape May, NJ)
The Case of the “Scratch and Sniff and Lick”
May 30, 2018
Finally, a delightful entry into summer with these delectable postage stamps from our USPS. I was so excited to grab hold of these little babies, but alas! Their popularity cast a shadow on my dreams since the limited supply already was sold out!!! But overall, it’s the best darned thing that the Federal Government has offered in a long time. Now I have to weigh in. . . . scratch and sniff stamps or priority mail flat rate boxes. Hmmmm. That’s a tough one. Until I get hold of those stamps! Then I’ll probably say, “It’ll take a lickin’ but keep on stickin’.”
The Case of the “Spring Snow”
March 21, 2018
So, here we are. The first day of Spring 2018. Yes, it’s true that we’ve had our share of snowstorms in the month of March. But I don’t recall snow the first official day of spring. Do you? It’s seems an unlikely smack-across-the-face from Mother Nature, as if Earth has been an unwieldy wild child.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m one of those crazies who loves the snow during the season, but I’ve had enough of it. Enough of the cold, enough of the salt crystals on the driveway and sidewalk (not to mention, tracked into my house), enough of dangerous drivers who think they can speed at a normal pace on icy roadways and are up my butt with no wiggle room between us, and, finally, enough of the Armageddon-minded rushing the grocery aisles when I’ve only stopped in for a head of lettuce.
Besides, I’ve already dusted off my flip-flops!
So, come on, Mother Nature! Enough of this silliness. Give us spring and summer!! We’re chomping at the bit!!!
(Special thanks to friends and relatives who reminded me of the spring snows of yester-years. Donna Orfe from New Jersey, Pamela Gibson Cuatt from New Jersey, Mike Burns from Pennsylvania, Melissa Ann Messimer from New Jersey, and many others)
The Case of the “Sprinkle“
February 28, 2018
Finally, five people wrote to me about their concern about “the SPRINKLE,” a.k.a. the second baby shower for a second born child to a family. I have one question like my reader contacts . . . why? Unless a mother has a financial need for help, why are there such parties nowadays? I finally reached my answer. To party! Yup. That’s the ticket.
But speaking on behalf of many other ladies who fall into my age bracket, keep the “sprinkles” on our ice cream. (Actually, I prefer the jimmies type, not rainbow.)
End of discussion. (Drop the mic.)
Thank you, Geirea Z. from Bloomington, IL; Tammy R. from Hobart, OK; Samantha F. from Cross City, FL; Paige M.from Burns, OR; and Vanessa J. from Franklin, NJ
The Case of the “Chickens That Keep Laying Those Peeps”
December 30, 2017
Yes, those dandy little fluffy marshmallow treats continued to haunt me throughout the holiday season last year. In fact, our local Shoprite, Acme and Murphy’s Market managed to display them right up front – to remind us folks of their “special sale” bargain status. No, I did not succumb. I’m still puzzled by the flavors and wonder who-on-earth goes ga-ga (or cluck cluck) over them.
I don’t ridicule the consumers for their taste choices. I do, however, plead to the manufacturers to “stop the madness!” The only thing that I found them good for was the exploding expansion in the microwave. Some might call that an awful death, but it is what it is. (I discovered this when someone gave me a pack a few years ago and I decided to try to make a s’more out of one. Hey, I was out of regular marshmallows.)
Well, I’ll continue to keep my eyes peeled for their expanding population. After all, Easter is around the corner. Oh, and Lord help us all! Someone told me that Oreos now come with Peep fillings. At yi yi. [SMH]
The Case of the “Checkout Line”
November 24, 2017 (A special blog entry for BLACK FRIDAY)
Have you ever been in a checkout line at the store when . . .
1. Someone walks right past you and the others to the front because “I only have one thing”
2. A person who should be in the Express line gets behind you and your “filled-to-the-brim” cart – then gives you a look of “Can’t I move ahead of you?”
3. People waiting behind you give you dirty looks because you “did let” someone else go in front of you
With the recent “thankful” holiday behind us and Black Friday here, how many people suddenly quickly lose sight of practicing good manners?
There are times when I’m checking out at the grocery store, convenience shop or even Target, when I think to myself – – how much time or trouble does it take to be kind and polite to others?
I’ve had the occasional person breeze by me with his “one item” gesture only to think – WOW! I had no idea that my wish of becoming “invisible” came true! (But I was unaware of it! Darn!)
The other day while picking up my fresh turkeys at Dutch Wagon, a local Amish market, I allowed three elderly ladies in front of me to move across to the parallel bakery line. This cut their waiting time in half. But when I let them slip back in front of me (with the line only moving up two people in fifteen minutes), the people behind me gave me nasty looks. Yes! That’s right! By rights, I should be dead right now because of their dagger eyes!!
So, I’m here to say on Black Friday, please avoid “crossing over into the dark side.” Maybe that’s what the real symbolism of the color black is in the infamous name. (No, no – I know that it has to do with retailers “going into the black” economically. Which beats “going into the red – – with embarrassment – at one’s behavior.” Am I right?”)
Happy Shopping, one and all. 😊
(special shout out to Kathy and Andrew Rimby from Sewell, NJ, and Stony Brook, NY, for their suggestion)
The Case of the “Curbside Controversy”
November 13, 2017
Yes, once again it’s that time of the year when folks in most suburban neighborhoods are raking leaves and piling them “curbside” for pickup from their township. This poses a major problem (and carries over often to winter snow-removal and spring pruning). The neighbors use a loose translation for the meaning of curbside. Most of us longtime residents (talking twenty to forty years) place our piles at the edge of our lawns. We don’t mind if the grass dies underneath; we know it’ll come back bigger and stronger than ever. . . even if we have to reseed a bit. It’s the safe method! But we have noticed that the newer neighbors, ones of shorter times in the neighborhood, think curbside means “in the street.”
Fortunately, my street is quite wide. But the street method becomes problematic for two cars to drive by at the same time . . . then it becomes even more complicated by folks who have two many cars for their driveways and park on the street. (God forbid they let their rubber touch their lawns!)
Last year this whole situation became most perilous! Two children who were playing near the cross street, one being a main route through the development, decided to hide and scare drivers from within huge leaf piles that were on the street. A driver hit a parked car in order to avoid them while another driver admitted to almost hitting them. She didn’t see them until she was on top of the leaf pile. The “old farts,” as some youngin’s have decided to call those who “ratted them out” to the police, haven’t seen much improvement. There were warnings and threats of fines, but nothing has changed.
I’m trying to “leaf” this situation alone. I’ve offered my two cents, and now others are doing the same. Our biggest fear is that something horrible will happen before there’s a solution. Let’ s hope that never becomes the case. Ay yi yi!
The Case of “Reality TV”
September 22, 2017
When I grew up, I always thought of the Nelson family as a dose of reality T.V. After all, my parents and my sisters gathered in the living room to see Ozzie and Harriet address or conquer family issues with David and Ricky. We watched as the sons became men in college and at work, expanded the family with wives and grew independent from their folks. Then, low and behold, I discovered that the Nelsons and even, holy heck, Lucy and Desi were far from reality. Yes, they took real family issues and twisted them into episodic television, but they paled by comparison to today’s so-called reality television entertainment. But I confess! Like many, I’m hooked!!
Yes, I get my Real Housewives fix (not all because too many make my head swivel 360 degrees like The Exorcist girl), my dose of The Amazing Race (my vicarious travel around he world until I can afford to do it myself), my eyeballs full of Big Brother (mostly because I love those crazy games) and even season after season of Survivor (more games). I also can’t get enough of Dancing with the Stars, The Voice, and America’s Got Talent. They drum up memories of all the variety shows that hit the airwaves in the 50s through the 70s. And I am kowtowing to Michael Symon for the new recipes that warm my hubby’s stomach and to Clinton Kelly’s fun crafting tips that heal my glue gun burns. But what about my peers who savor programs like Naked and Afraid, Fear Factor, The Kardashian shows, Marriage Boot Camp, Gypsy Weddings or Honey BooBoo? I always want to talk to folks who like those so I can do a psychological evaluation on them. I need to get into their heads because maybe it’ll make me better understand my own addiction.
Well, all I know is the next time a president of the United States or a force of nature decides to preempt one of my reality TV shows, I’m going to have to have an IV at my disposal, filled with taped shows or, better yet, utilize my On Demand button on the remote!!
Sorry, Ozzie. Sorry, Lucy. But life’s moved on without you.
The Case of the “Doggy Bag”
August 11, 2017
My neighborhood is tranquil, friendly and tree-lined. We folks stop to chat to one another while walking, bicycling or driving. We’re a peaceful sort. But we have one thing in common. We loathe dog walkers who think it’s okay to have their pooch “dump” on our lawns, regardless of picking up after it.
We don’t want to be cranky, but we want to make a plea to those who don’t understand. Having your dog walk onto our lawn to relieve himself or herself isn’t okay. Yes, we know you think that just because you whip out a doggy bag to clean up, we’ll abide.
Not true.
Personally, I owned dogs for most of my life. When and if I took my dog out for a walk, we visited the wooded areas. Normally, my dogs did Number Two in my backyard where I cleaned it up (or the kids with their “chore list.” Ahhhh, those were the days!). I get it. Some owners don’t like that idea, especially if they have kids playing out back. But I grew up with plenty of opportunities to step in some unclaimed poop found in the corner of our property. I wasn’t skeeved out by it. I wasn’t even distraught or grossed out. In fact, an adult once told me that if I stepped in it, it’d bring me luck. There you have it! I should be the luckiest person in the world by now, but I’m not – and I’m still not flummoxed by my soiled soles.
For the record and on behalf of my neighbors (and those around other areas), we must remember that this “dumping zone” concept is trespassing. Pure and simple.
One of our neighbors kindly reminds people with his little sign that, “I don’t relieve myself on your grass so please don’t let your animal do it on mine.” I chuckle every time I see it but I don’t think it helps.
I cringe when I look out of my upstairs window and spot a canine lifting his leg at my standing mailbox off the street. There used to be beautiful miniature roses and dahlias there throughout the summer months. But that’s a whole ‘nother story!
The Case of the “Garden Invaders”
July 17, 2017
He might look mighty cute, but this chipmunk is a sneak thief!
Go ahead, hide your little peepers, you stinker. Not only do you leave little two inch holes all around my garden beds, but now you’ve decided to snatch my tomatoes – green or ripened – as thought you’re moving through your own personal tomato buffet!!!
I’ve tried some standard solutions. Cayenne and hot red pepper flakes. A special solution sprayed with habanero juice. But to no avail. You obviously have some flair for heat in those taste buds of yours!
At present, I’m trying a little old-fashioned netting like I use on my blueberry plants and raspberry bushes. Hopefully, you won’t figure out a way to get through them.
But I have to admit, I’m a little worried that your cousin might figure them out. Yes, Mr. Squirrel manages to stop by for a little fast food fix on occasion. Grrrrrr!
The Case of the “Broken Directional”
June 28, 2017
Like most drivers, there are times when my car is idling behind another car at a traffic light or a stop sign. As I wait to proceed forward, I suddenly am made aware of the car in front of me. It’s veering off to the right or to the left once the light changes. The move jars me! Expecting the car to thrust forward before the domino effect of others follow, my brain is grappling with the change. Why? Because the driver never used his turn signal to make me aware of his game plan, his anticipated “turn.” Thanks for sharing, dude.
Hey, I’m not a mind reader! I will catch on if the driver decides to turn his wheels in one direction or another. But other than that, I’m clueless! If he’s not going to use his directional (hey, maybe it’s broken?), he should at least stick his arm and finger out the window to point me in his right (or left) direction. I’m not good at guessing.
In the meantime, some other impatient driver behind me is laying on the horn because he’s trying to figure out MY moves! I’m yelling to him, “Hey, I’m the innocent victim here. I have no idea what this dude in front of me is doing. Give me a break. Please!” Of course, he can’t see me so I gesture a “hand shrug” in my rear view mirror. He continues to honk anyway. I’m doomed. Another persecuted driver because of some other numbskull.
A final and, perhaps, worse offense is the “flap-jacker” on our high speed roadways. I’m trying to trip the light fantastic in a cautious manner, and Mr. Lane Shifter (not to be mistaken with shape-shifter) is weaving his way back and forth around the other drivers. Hey, didn’t that driver ever hear that cars are weapons? Use your blinker, Mr. Invincible. The rest of us are mortal beings who want to embrace a few more years of life, not shave them off!
Okay, it’s true. I’ve been “an offender” on rare occasion. But I profusely apologize to the folks behind me when I realize what I’ve just done. Hey, I’m human. Honest.
(Thanks, Cassandra LaVecchia from Mt. Ephraim, NJ; Marcia Howell from Kent, OH; and Sharon Teasdale from Erie, PA)
The Case of the “Reboot”
June 8, 2017
“Dirty Dancing” aired not long ago on television, and I wasn’t the only one who was disappointed. I don’t know what I expected. Yes, actually I do! I expected to fall in love, all over again, with Johnny Castle, Baby and the rest of the gang. I couldn’t wait until Baby said, “I carried a watermelon.” But while Abigail Breslin’s eyes widened effectively, her vocal delivery and characterization left me flat. To top it off, the additional scenes and songs added an uneasy (somewhat torturous?) burden to a light-hearted, fun time, and the casting errors threw it into a tailspin. I confess! I had to soothe myself with another microwaved bag of popcorn!
Every time Hollywood decides to reboot and revitalize a film or movie musical, the second (or third or fourth etcetera) pales by comparison. Not to mention, I cringe. I don’t mean to cringe. Believe me. I want to give the newest version a shot, especially if it’s a blast from the past list of favorites. Ponder flicks like “King Kong,” “The Magnificent Seven,” “Cape Fear,” “Brian’s Song,” “The Parent Trap,” and too many more. Each one left me longing for the remake to transition into the original, right before my eyes. Nope. Never happened.
I can’t fathom “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” featuring anyone other than Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck as the lead characters. The innocent boyish faces hanging on mischievous imps are irreplaceable. Priceless.
A few of my friends told me how much they enjoyed the remake of “A Star is Born.” Although I agree that it was entertaining (with Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson), I still longed for the original. Nothing beats Judy Garland and James Mason. Then I found out that my favorite version was from 1954, overtaking the “original” from 1937 with Janet Gaynor and Frederic March. Whoops!
I’ve spent decent pennies hitting The Great White Way in NYC to see revival musicals, and I’ve been entertained. But if I saw the original, I still hold firm to the virginal experience. Call me a purest and old-fashioned, I suppose.
With the number of writers swamping Hollywood and New York, one would think that the volume of original material would be vast. No? Why is there an ongoing resurgence of remakes? If anyone can solve this mystery, I’d love to hear it.
(Thank you, Lynn Valente from NJ, Michelle Lovejoy from PA and Carol Kuntze Reynold from NV / CA.)
The Case of the “Parking Challenged”
May 16, 2017
Let’s face it. We’ve all been there. The occasional times when a driver is forced to park “caddywhompus” (such a great word!) in a space because some other parking challenged driver couldn’t make it between the lines. But when someone behind the wheel clearly has more than enough room to fit into a perfectly open area and STILL can’t accomplish it, it makes me nervous! The photo above reminds us that this driver had two options; park next to the car on the left or in the space on the right. But no! This owner who possesses a legitimate driver’s license (or does he/she?) made the decision to HOG two spaces for the price of one. Hmmmmm. Selfish? Can’t say for sure.
Then there’s the man who parked in front of me in an airport cellphone lot. Having two free spaces behind him and one in front of him, he needed to straighten out and hug the guardrail. He didn’t even have to parallel park, for Pete’s sake! And since the lot was booming with business, people needed the extra space around them to back up (from angular spaces to the left of us) as they watched for ongoing traffic. I’d like to give him some credit because of the drizzling rain. But if I could actually parallel park in my spot (from earlier in a downpour!), he could’ve headed in nose first and gotten it right the first time.
In a world where we’ve all been groomed to “color within the lines,” parking that way can’t be that far behind. Right?
(Thank you, Jim from Ohio, and Diane from Pennsylvania for your pet peeve suggestion.)
The Case of the “Peeps Invasion”
April 23, 2017
Easter is over and the stores have 75% off all Easter goodies, including Peeps. Ahhh, Peeps! As a kid, I loved those little gooey-marshmallow chickies! But today, not so much. . . mostly because the tradition became a marketing surplus of sell-out flavors. I didn’t mind when the white rabbits (strike up a little Jefferson Airplane here!) made their debut several years back. But flavors and crazy colors? Even Oreos stuffed with pink Peep marshmallow? I say, “NO!” Sometimes going overboard is a bit too much even for this sweet-tooth lady. When I told a friend that I wasn’t a fan of all the newbies out there, born from the originals, I was challenged to “try them. You might like them like I do.” The gauntlet was down so, yes, I succumbed to a bet. Not big bucks, mind you, but two dollars, nonetheless.
I promised myself to be totally objective. I purchased (on sale, natch!) one of all that I could find. I began with the “pure” form from my past, the yellow chick, and moved cautiously ahead. Although I only savored a decent sliver from each, I could tell that my first hunches were right. I plowed through and hated “fruit punch, sour watermelon, blue raspberry” then tackled the “chocolate dipped” ones – “blueberry delight, vanilla delight, and raspberry delight.” I was close to agreeable with the latter but not really on-board.
Then . . . suddenly caught off guard, totally by surprise . . . I was SMITTEN! Yes, I was IN LOVE with the “coconut delight . . . chocolate dipped.” They had me at “hello.” The three pack was finished in one night! I felt a bit sucker-punched, not expecting to like that one either. But low, and behold. I was wrong. <sigh>
Yesterday, I coughed up my cash to the delight of my grinning friend who merely mumbled, “Told ya’ so!”
I have to confess. I do love the Official Peeps website. When I researched other flavors, past or future, I didn’t know they sold merchandise, too – – yes, stuffed animals, t-shirts, socks, hats, pillows, the works! Also, they sponsor some clever art and diorama contests. At least some of those lonely, unpurchased shelf-sitters can be recycled for fun. Craft days for Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts. . . . Anyone? Anyone?
And get this, MY READER PEEPS!
SUMMER PEEPS are around the corner. . .Cotton candy, vanilla crème (with red, white and blue flecks) and party cake. Say it isn’t so?!
The Case of the “Nomad Shopping Cart”
April 2, 2017
On a beautiful spring day, I begin my search for perennial bulbs, and, instead, discover parking lots blooming with nomad shopping carts! Really? This debacle was awaiting me upon my return to my car. Some fool apparently couldn’t find the cart park right next to his parking space!! Yes, this makes my blood boil (okay, maybe not quite that mad). And we constantly wonder why America has become an obese nation.
Get those feet in motion, people, and take the extra minute or two to actually walk, YES, WALK! the store’s cart back to a safe zone. . . one where it won’t kiss someone’s car in a whipped up wind.
In a second scenario, I made a quick pit-stop at a local supermarket, and VOILA! Once again I spied nomad carts that sat friendless and away from their kin! And once again, the cart park was a short walk away. The woman (quite young!) who left her cart by the lamppost had enough time to search for and pull out a fresh pack of smokes, open them up and light one before she got into her Honda Civic. When I asked her – – while I pointed – – why she didn’t return her shopping cart, she said, “Somebody gets paid for finding them out here and rolling them back to the store. They’d be out a job if it wasn’t for people like me.” God’s honest truth! That’s what she told me as I shook my head and wheeled her cart into the store with me.
Okay, maybe it seems like a big deal . . . but I always return my shopping cart. Hey, I’m a considerate type. I don’t want him to get lonesome or be accused of being on a drunken binge, tilting up and off a nearby curb! I’ve got a heart, people.
If you have a “Pet Peeve” that you’d like to share, please send me an email via my contact page. Guaranteed it’ll show up on this blog one day in the future!
